Armed to the teeth

From the Parkville Luminary

A gun in every hand, tucked into every boot and waistband, and hidden in every briefcase and glove compartment—this is the America that I dream of.

Energized by last year’s Supreme Court decision on a DC law and by recent moves to expand gun owner’s rights, I am proud to announce the formation of a new organization: ELF (Everyone needs Loaded Firearms).

With a name like ELF, think of the traction that we can get around the holidays! I can see a “Gun in Every Stocking” Christmas campaign next year, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

I have been inspired and encouraged in forming ELF by the always brilliant members of congress. In their wisdom, they voted late last year to allow Amtrak train passengers to transport guns in checked bags. The policy will go into effect in a year. (Washington Post 12-9-09; KC Star, 11-21-09).

“Amtrak regulations …infringe on the Second Amendment rights of law-abiding citizens,” Kansas Senator Sam Brownback told the KC Star.

You are correct, senator. Every right-thinking American knows that the constitution clearly states that gun owners can carry their guns whenever and wherever they want to, and that a fully armed society puts us all at less risk, not more.

Sadly, a house-senate conference committee eliminated a forward thinking component of the original Senate version of the bill. This component would have allowed passengers to take guns with them on board the train at Amtrak stations where checked baggage service is available. That’s about 30 percent of Amtrak 520 stations, including our own KC Union Station. ELF wonders why only 30% of its passengers should be able to take guns with them on board. What about the gun rights of the other 70%? Also, the bill should have allowed semi-automatic weapons, since that would be a deterrent to any terrorist looking to prey on our rail system.

Not only should Amtrak passengers be armed to the teeth, but so should lawmakers. That’s why ELF is so impressed with a law passed in December that allows Raymore, Missouri city councilmen (and women) to carry concealed weapons during meetings.

Hats off to you, Raymore Councilman Jeff Cox, for your innovative thinking. Cox said that part of his motivation for his proposal was the February, 2008 attack at a city council meeting in Kirkwood, Missouri where five people were killed. This is impeccable logic. In fact, apply this principle to anywhere where gun violence has occurred, and it’s clear to see that if everyone was armed, everywhere, all of the time, that no one would ever be shot, because bad guys know that law-abiding citizens (like city councilmen!) are packing heat.

In fact, ELF believes that the Raymore model should be copied through the metro area, and indeed nationwide.

Allowing councilmen to carry weapons is not only consistent with the second amendment; it is a principle that will facilitate better, more efficient government. You see, Missouri law allows members of governing bodies to carry weapons during meetings (if the body approves such a proposal), but it prohibits citizens attending the meeting from carrying weapons. As an alderman or councilman, imagine how tidy public hearings would become if the weapon-less public knew you were packing heat (“You want WHAT KIND of rezoning on that plat?...Do you feel lucky today, developer? Well, do ya’?). Imagine how much more efficient meetings would become, at least the part where governing bodies interact with the public. As for disagreements between council members or aldermen, as long as they’re armed, they might as well settle things the old-fashioned way. This might necessitate the occasional special election to fill unexpired terms, but again, in terms of expedient decision making, it’s a sure winner.

ELF won’t rest until every councilman, train passenger, professional football fan, and kindergartner is taking full advantage of their God and constitution-given right to bear arms.